30 ACRONYMS IN MALAYSIA That’ll Make You Laugh

Those who grew up in Malaysia could relate to these acronyms…

I grew up studying in a national primary school in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia. Unlike Chinese primary schools, we didn’t have much homework. Hence, the KBSR syllabus really stood for ‘Kami Belajar Sangat Rileks‘. Things changed a little for the worse though when we went to secondary school. Then we realised KBSM actually meant ‘Kerja Banyak Sampai Mati‘.

In the 1980’s and early 1990’s mini buses existed in KL and many of us would call it BMW (Bas Mini Wilayah). Talking about KL, did you know it really stands for ‘Kesesakan Lalulintas‘? PJ is not any better, especially on Federal Highway, Jalan Universiti and Jalan Gasing. PJ is ‘Permanently Jammed‘. Some people thought they could escape all the jam by moving to the planned township of Subang Jaya. Little did they know SJ is short for ‘Super Jam‘. If you always find yourself admiring the facade of The Summit due to slow-moving traffic, it’s because USJ is ‘Usually Super Jammed‘.

While the jam is scary, potholes is another big problem. They take ages to fix potholes because as a childhood friend of mine said, JKR was taken by the staff to mean ‘Jangan Kerja Rajin‘. When PLUS was opened, we Malaysians were overjoyed. And we love to speed on the highway thinking that the long form of PLUS is ‘Pandu Laju Untuk Sampai‘. Want to escape the jam by taking public transport? Forget about KTMB. It is short for ‘Kena Tunggu Macam Bodoh‘. So we still have to pay RM1.60 and still get stuck in jam along LDP (Lambat Dalam Perjalanan). Oh yeah… TOL stands for Takda Otak Langsung!

When I went to study in college, I was under the FAMA scholarship. Not a scholarship offered by any government organisation. It was funds given by FAther and MAma. Some of my friends went to study at a place they called the ‘Money-Making University‘ (MMU).

During my study break I actually worked with the CID for 3 months. It was the Credit Initiation Department of an American Bank.

When we enter the working world, SMART objectives are always emphasised. But sometimes the DUMB (Demanding, Unreasonable, Manipulative & Belligerent) bosses just spoil it.

Don’t get too impressed when someone tells you he was born in US, studied in UK and is now working in LA. It might mean he was born in Ulu Selangor (‘Ulu’ is a variant spelling of ‘Hulu’), studied in Ulu Klang and is now working in Lebuh Ampang!

Mid Valley is a big mall and irregular visitors might find themselves getting lost. If you want to go watch a movie in GSC, and don’t know which way to go, just remember it’s ‘Go South Court‘.

When KL people want to go to a beach, PD is still a favourite destination although it obviously stands for ‘Polluted District‘.

During CNY, Chinese folks like to go to GH. Of course not General Hospital ’cause it’s so not ‘ong’ to go there during CNY. GH is ‘Genting Highlands‘ or ‘Gambling Haven‘.

In my college days, my friend told me the word GOLF has its origin in the olden days when there was much sexism. It was supposed to be the short form of ‘Gentlemen Only, Ladies Forbidden‘. A few weeks ago I heard that ‘GOLF’ describes some golfers who neglect their family for the love of the game perfectly; GOLF = Golongan Orang Lupakan Famili).

Some married people naughtily say they are MBA (Married But Available) but it’s always better for any lady to just go for the BBA (Best Bachelor Around) even if Bachelor of Business Administration is inferior to Masters in Business Administration.

By the way, ladies have PMS all the time…it’s ‘Periodic Mood Swing‘.

Lee Chong Wei’s initial is LCW which could also mean ‘Let China Win‘ . So now he’s called Datuk Lee Chong Wei as we hope to remind him ‘Don’t Let China Win!’ (DLCW).

There have always been some jokes being made about what some car brands stand for, and my favourite is this – PORSCHE = Proof of Rich Spoilt Children Having Everything.

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